Til We Meat Again / Season 1, Episode 14
First broadcast: February 13, 2004; repeat: August 30, 2005
Shirley Schmidt and Denny Crane represent a man whose steakhouse is being
put out of business as the publicity-hungry mayor has pushed through an
ordinance banning red meat for fear of Mad Cow disease, and in the process
of trying the case, Crane wins over Schmidt's respect as an attorney.
Meanwhile, what begins as an evening out for Alan Shore and Tara Wilson
ends in a barroom brawl, with Shore arrested for conspiracy to commit
assault and battery.
Directed by .... Bill D'Elia
Written by .... David E. Kelley
SKitana Baker .... Beautiful Woman
Jason Blicker .... Attorney Timothy Simms
Curt Bouril .... Edwards
David Burke .... D.A. Casey Mathias
Michael Dempsey .... Dominick Ryan
Takayo Fischer .... Clerk
Henry Gibson .... Judge Clark Brown
Jack Impellizzeri .... Officer Jackson
Brandon Molale .... Mike
Holmes Osborne .... Mayor George Bostwick
Yamil Piedra .... Joe
Francesca Roberts .... Judge Jamie Atkinson
John Short .... Dr. Raymond Young
Pat Skipper .... Attorney Michael Roker
Glen Walker .... Reporter
LaFern Watkins .... Jury Foreperson
Betty White .... Catherine Piper
Rick Yune .... Troi Ran [storyline cut]
Alan: When a man turns 40, he begins to take measure of himself. I must
admit I don't like what I see.
Tara: You're turning 43.
Alan Shore: If you don’t mind, I’m trying to appear vulnerable to
facilitate my snorkeling up your thighbone later.
Tara Wilson: Alan? You boyfriend. Me girlfriend. You have a season’s pass.
Alan Shore: You’re ruining the conquest part, which is all it’s really
about for me.
Alan: Don't be deceived by my cushy appearance.
Alan: You look like a strapping young fellow.
Alan: Talking about me, Brad?
Brad: Yeah, just trying to imagine you as an...instigator.
Alan: What's that supposed to mean?
Brad: Sorry. Forget it.
Alan: No, let's not forget it. How about you say what you have to say, or
is that too monumental an effort, completing whole sentences?
Lori: Come on, Alan.
Alan: You want to talk about me, Lori, perhaps you should reposition
yourself behind my back. Isn't that the rule of the game?
Lori: I don't talk about you behind your back, Alan.
Brad: You're not that interesting.
Alan: *shoves* I'm tired of this; get that?
Brad: *taken aback* I dunno what's going on with you, sport, but you're
certainly smart enough to realize that I could probably dismember you in
Alan: *shoves again*
Alan: Then do it.
Lori: Cut it out!
Denny Crane: We’re carnivores. When the pilgrims landed, the first thing
they did was eat a few Indians.
Denny Crane: Pop goes the weasel. Hi. Denny Crane. Still cuckoo for Cuckoo
Puffs. Who’s your daddy? Denny Crane. Pop goes the weasel.
Denny Crane: I’ll tell you this one more time. Play the judge! The man
lives with his mother, he wears lifts. The buzz word is nansy pansy.
Shirley Schmidt: I beg your pardon?
Alan Shore: When you… launched into that diatribe about me being the…
Tara Wilson: Universe.
Alan Shore: You said you were sick of it. Are you sick of me? Are you sick
of me, Tara?
Tara Wilson: No.
Alan Shore: As much as I… loathe… sentiment, together with it’s
expression… I cherish you. You should just know, you really, really smell
Tara Wilson: You smell good, too.
Did You Know... ?
storyline meant for Til We Meat Again was written, filmed and promoted -
but was mysteriously deleted and never aired. From the ABC press release:
"... Lori and Brad serve as second chair for a new attorney Schmidt has
just poached from another law firm who refers to himself as "Sexy Man."
"Sexy Man" Troi Ran was portrayed by Rick Yune [pictured in an official ABC photo
from the Boston Legal set]. You may remember Rick Yune as Zao as the
villain in the James Bond flick "Die Another Day".
CBS's broadcast of the Grammy Awards was on TV at the same time as Boston
Legal. The Grammy's had the lowest ratings since 1995 with only 18.8
This February 13th episode aired after two weeks of preemptions. There was
no episode on January 30, due to the Superbowl, and no ep February 6.
Following episode 15 on February 20 ["Tortured Souls"], there would be
another two week preemption, playing havoc with viewers schedules and
expectations and, basically, heralding the imminent time slot chaos that
would begin March 20 when "Grey's Anatomy's" success drop kicked BL into
next season and another night.
A Unorthodoxy Works… Sometimes by Abney [written for TV Tome]
I'll admit that I didn't catch the entire episode; I was watching the
Grammy's and forgot to switch over to ABC at 10 due to the fact that it's
an Awards Show that doesn't end on the hour like normal programming. So I
missed the first ten or so minutes of the show, but started watching after
what I assume was the first commercial break because the credits were
still showing up on screen as the episode went on.
Anyways, this episode continued the familiar trend on Boston Legal of
presenting an outlandish case and presenting it in a serious manner - the
characters, like Denny, can be portrayed to comical, unrealistic
proportions and the same could be said of many of the court cases, but
they always seem to link it back to the real world. Much like suing the
United States government over the Sudanese genocide, a mayor attempting to
shut down a steakhouse solely on the basis of the thread of mad cow
disease is something that one would not perceive as 'normal', if there is
such a thing.
Shirley, who was her own eccentricities, falls more on the 'regular' side of
the line, with Lori, Brad, and Lewiston; Alan and Denny hold a monopoly on
the crazy side, and Tara wavers back and forth between the two depending
on what state her relationship with Alan is. Denny didn't become such a
dominant and successful lawyer without some skill at his profession,
however, and Shirley (as well as Paul) failed to notice this until just
now. He may not employ the traditional tactics of winning a case, but he
does what he thinks is necessary to get the favorable verdict, even if it
means playing on the judge's weakness - a fear of coming off as small, or
'nancy pansy'. It may not be the thing most lawyers do, but then again
Denny is anything but most lawyers. And that's why we love him so much.
At the heart of the issue, however irregular and arbitrary it seemed, was
something that's been viewed as a potential crisis in this country. Most,
however, have dismissed it rather quickly, myself (and apparently, Denny)
included. The bottom line is our government does not perceive an eminent
threat from red meat, and while the scientific community may not agree
with them, the political institutions make the laws and enforce them. While
there is no 'hard evidence' to support Denny's claim that beef makes him
stronger than anyone else, his point wasn't to support that claim; it was
to cast doubt on his opponents. For now, there really is no way to judge,
with enough accuracy, the existence (or nonexistence, for that matter) of
mad cow disease - the whole issue it surrounded by uncertainty, and in our
court system things are based on facts and truths. Not on might bes, or
might happens. And while I'm still somewhat angered that the legal staff
at Crane, Poole and Schmidt never seems to lose a case, this one actually
made sense. Judges are supposed to be impartial, but they're also human,
and Denny played this one like a [game, musical instrument...anything else
that can be played].
Lewiston still lacks an office or the authority to really control anyone
who is supposed to be 'under' him (namely Alan) and the antagonistic
dynamic that has been developing between him and anyone who opposes him is
something interesting to watch for a character who started off as calm to
the point of dullness. If he wants to be able to keep some semblance of
order in the office, he'll have to do what Shirley did when she first step
foot into the Boston office of the firm - fire somebody. Show your
strength, back up your threats, and prove that you can and will do
something. Otherwise, people like Alan will continuously rebel; it's just
in his (and others') nature.
As much as Alan may play off the bar brawl as 'primal' and 'instinct', he
can't ignore, and Tara sure wasn't easy to forget, that his actions were
calculated. He didn't strike back because he felt he threatened, or in the
heat of the moment - that's not the way he works. He defeats brawn using
brains - and to some, that's being 'craven', as he put it - but if he wins
the fight, what does courage matter? Somehow, he proved his worth to Tara;
whether his final monologue was truthful is something that'll see in the
coming weeks but for now it was enough to satisfy her; and me. Most likely
the last characteristic I'll ever share with Tara Wilson.
-Alan's ending monologue was classic Shore; brilliantly penned by Kelley
and delivered by Spader. He gets this subtlety in his voice when he's
digging deep into an emotion and not being sarcastic, and those are some
of the best lines he ever has.
-Tara actually stood up to Alan and it worked better than when Sally did
it; but by the end of the night, he had reconciled the relationship. Not
-Alan defending himself is always a good thing; it's different when he has
a truly personal stake in the case. It always seems to amplify the
sarcasm, the wit, and the smugness. This time, he ended up on top; next
time, he might not.
-Shirley's acceptance of Denny as a capable lawyer for the first time
shifts their dynamic from playfully hateful to perhaps a level of mutual
respect I didn't expect to see between the two of them.
-I didn't like the way they made a connection between Denny's Alzheimer's
and mad cow disease. I appreciate the attempt, but it just didn't fit
right, at least not as I viewed it.
-Once again, both cases featured ended up with a victory for the lawyers
of Crane, Poole, and Schmidt - if any sense of realism wants to be
maintained, I hope somebody loses a case sooner or later. There isn't any
dramatic tension if you know the outcome before it comes to pass.
-I was going to go with Lewiston blowing up (yet again...) but then...
-Shirley utterly creeped me out when she muttered sweet nothings into
Denny's ear. Orgasmic 'Denny...Denny...Denny Crane' is not something I
want to hear. EVER. AGAIN.
Tara: What the hell is going on?
Written by: Abney | Send feedback and comments to Abney at
A Job Well Done or a Job Medium Rare? by TeaCake911 [written for TV Tome]
It's that time again, kiddies. Another tri-episodic dose of TeaCake's
Boston Legal Review, and this week's episode deserves special attention.
Since my last review (shortly after the arrival of SS and the dismissal of
Sally), the relationships between main characters have gotten quite
interesting. Shall we get started?
Say all you want about how good a couple Tara and Alan make. You could
even go on for days about her ridiculously high hotness level. But dammit,
this episode took Tara down a few pegs in my personal book. Let's begin
with the opening sequence, Tara (not Alan) comes up with the idea of
'pretending' to be a bar-hopping single to get Alan to pick her up. That's
mistake number one. She obviously attracts the attention of an inebriated
horndog at the bar, and Alan steps in to drive him away from his girl.
Fast forward to the drunk guy punching Alan. Now, you would think that
Tara would be feeling a little guilty for being the direct cause of
getting her boyfriend punched in the face. You might even think she'd
understand his need to get retribution against the rude drunken idiot.
Here's where mistake number two comes in. She's actually mad at him for
putting her in danger! I know! I can't believe it either! So we get some
long-winded rant about how Alan's always the center of the universe (or
he's actually 'the universe' as she so non-subtley put it). Hello? Didn't
we learn this about Alan when he single-handedly dismantled the firm in
The Practice all by his lonesome? Alan being the center of his own
universe should've been something Tara knew well before she got busy with
him, it's neigh retarded to throw something like that in his faceat this
point. The saving grace for Tara this week is the fact that her antagonism
gives Alan a brilliant idea for his closing argument. But the friction
between the 'Dynamic Duo' of Alan and Tara showed in this episode might be
a hint of rocky roads to come in later episodes. The thing I'm mostly
pissed about is that Tara seemed to be adopting Alan's 'bad boy' attitude.
With her recent sexually-risque behavior, and her actions in a previous
episode (she gets information from a souce by flirting with them in a
bar), she's really coming off as a holier-than-thou hypocrite. Hope she
wises up next episode.
I re-he-heally liked Alan's case this week. It wasn't too spectacular, and
it wasn't really a case at all, but it was the perfect stage for Alan to
show what he's all about. He isn't a physical man. He's not even a
virtuous man. He's just a guy that's perhaps too smart for his own good.
This all became crystal clear in the bar scene. He knows that he'll get
his white-collar butt whipped if he retaliates against the horndog guy at
the bar, so he proffers some 'big looking guys' to do the dirty work for
him, at $300-$100 apiece. Now I ask you readers, is this such a bad idea?
The guy who threw the first blow, and who totally ignored Tara's
explanations that she's with someone was clearly in the wrong, not Alan.
He didn't necessarily dirty his own hands by fighting back, but by
offering money to outsiders, they took the responsibility of committing
acts of violence for themselves. Personally, I don't even see why there
was a trial, anything short of murder doesn't even need to be looked at in
this case. The writers use this scenario as a way to show that Alan
certainly controls his own destiny. In a situation where most of us guys
would've easily regressed to a neanderthal psyche and resorted to
violence, even despite the certain ass-kicking that would follow, Alan got
his vengeance, AND escaped any pain. Tara calls this being the center of
the universe. I call it being resourceful, and knowing how to handle any
given situation with finesse.
In the courtroom, Alan defends himself brilliantly... too brilliantly. His
smug demeanor and the refusal to admit that he might've been in the wrong
is picked up by Tara, and it gives her some leeway with her insinuations.
He realizes that to get the jury on his side, he'll have to show
vulnerability, and get them to feel sorry for him. I believe his closing
argument was very sincere, Alan is the kind of guy that is a victim to the
same weaknesses as most men, but his higher-than-average intellect, and
his ability to talk people into doing whatever he wants, gets him in a
very sticky situation at the bar. Even though he came out unscathed, the
bar brawl definitely affected him the most out of all parties involved.
When he pushes Brad around and snaps at Lori in the office, it's clear
that Alan feels a bit of the 'mamsy pansy' phenomena that's been going
around Boston that day. Tara calling him 'the universe' might symbolize
Alan's having a God-complex. The fact that he tries to dirty his own hands
by picking a fight with his rival Brad, and with Paul Lewiston, signifies
his attempts to deny this personality trait that seperates him from the
normal (non-Godlike) person. It's indeed his 'God-complex' that makes him
pay off the big guys to fight for him, yet it's also this same complex
that makes him such a great character to watch each week. I just hope that
Tara doesn't do anything else to screw it up...
Paul had a brief, yet important spot this week. In an office briefing
(read: lecture) with Alan and Tara, he tells Alan that he'll be fired if
Alan's case is returned with a verdict of 'guilty'. Lewiston later gets
irritated to the point of a violent verbal outburst when Alan continually
mocks Lewiston's words. Paul is clearly the expert in having to clean up
the messes made by Alan's 'God-complex', but unlike Tara, he wants Alan to
continue on his path so that there'll be just cause to fire his ass when
Alan inevitably steps over the line (like he did in The Practice,
presumably). SS, of all people, defend Alan to Paul, saying that without
Shore the firm would lose a big asset (and it would possibly be vulnerable
to more losses, should Alan sue Crane, Poole, and Schmidt as he did with
The Practice). I think Paul's just waiting to strike, like a lethal snake
awaiting for the prime opening for a killing blow. The next time Alan
screws up royally, expect Paul to make a federal case (perhaps literally)
I actually wasn't too impressed with Shirley this week, aside from the
fact that she had to rely on Denny's plan to win the case. She didn't
bring much to the table in court this week, and she seemed to give up all
too easily. Of course, this might be due to her being a liberal, and the
case in question (prohibiting the county-wide sale of red meat) might be
something she wouldn't necessarily disagree with, but we all know from the
evolution case that she's a businesswoman first, and a tree-hugging
Bush-basher second. Her weak cross-examinations were only saved by Denny's
wild questioning and his intuition, and while this is a pretty
entertaining glimpse into the relationship that was SS and DC back in the
day, it's sad to see that at the end of the day Denny still has to act as
a second banana to SS. On the brighter side, SS is showing that she's not
just a shark in female's clothing, as she sticks up for Alan while talking
to Lewiston, and she even trusts Denny's judgment in the final hour. She
might end up being a popular character yet!
This is the first time we see Denny and Shirley in court together alone on
a case. The mere fact that Denny had this case pegged from the start,
while SS resorted to giving up in the face of adversity makes me adore
this one off the bat. Denny not only showed great wisdom/experience in his
handling of the judge, but he also didn't let the repeated mutterings of
'Alzheimer's' distract him (this also sets up the great joke he shares
with Alan, saying that he has 'Mad Cow Disease' and not 'Alzheimer's').
The important thing here was that SS and Denny were facing the Mayor of
Boston, and while she buckles like a belt when the Mayor recites an
impressive list of reasons why red meat should be banned, Denny simply
shows why the Bostonian Everyman (the person the Mayor supposedly answers
to) wants red meat: it's good food, it's what most people grew up eating,
and it's never been proven to be dangerous in America to date. His
seemingly-simple utterances about the merits of meat, and the fact that
anyone who's worried about Mad Cow Disease is a 'mamsy pansy' reveals that
his own struggles with old age (and SS) never gets him in a state of panic
or paranoia. The fact that the Mayor and SS want to take the easy way out
highlights Denny even more; he's a survivor and he'll always find a way in
the end to get the job done. Kudos to William Shatner for the Golden
Globe, by the way, he definitely deserves it.
Not much new to report here. Lori and Brad didn't get much air time this
week, but they, along with Lewiston and Tara, ended up rubbing the wrong
side of Alan this week. It seems that only the senior partners of the firm
are still on Shore-man's good side at the moment, it could spell trouble
next week if Alan finds himself in need of a little help from his friends.
Oh, and Betty White needs to create more drama between the co-workers,
cause she's just so damn good at it, but this episode didn't really use
her to my satisfaction.
I enjoyed the look inside Alan's head, and the (hopefully first of many)
triumph of Denny over SS in the courtroom. I would've enjoyed an exciting
case even more, though.
Written by: TeaCake911
For the week ended Sunday, February 13, 2005:
Boston Legal ranked #21 of 116 shows with 12.9mm viewers.
Crossing Jordan ranked #25 with 12.2mm viewers.
The Grammy Awards ranked #8 with 18.8mm viewers.
Season to date, Boston Legal is ranked #25 of 162 shows with an average of
the stories behind the stories of Til We Meat Again by Stephen Lee
Mad Cow Disease:
In this episode, a Massachusetts town outlaws the sale of beef, ostensibly
because of concerns over mad-cow disease. In real life, such a law, if
ever enacted, probably would withstand court scrutiny - courts cannot
simply strike down silly or misguided laws but generally can strike down
laws only when the laws exceed government authority or infringe on
>> read more
NS grad lands spot on hit TV show
North Scott Press [Eldridge, Iowa]
February 9, 2005 - Sunday, on ABC's hit drama "Boston Legal," son Curt
will get his shot at TV stardom.
Curt, a 1995 North Scott graduate who never stepped foot on the Lancer
stage in high school, will be seen in two scenes opposite Emmy
award-winning actor James Spader. In the opening scene he plays a
bar patron named Edwards who was hired by Spader to fight in his honor.
Later he can be seen being questioned by Spader in a Boston courtroom,
sporting a bruised eye.
"About two weeks ago I spent two days filming the scenes," said Bouril. "I
spent two days on the set and another day in stunt training. The beauty of
it was they ended up using a stunt double.
"I tell you what, to a corn-fed Iowa boy, there's nothing better than
showing up to work, having a refrigerator stocked with Diet Coke and an
assistant getting you scrambled eggs."
Bouril, 27, also had kind words for the show's star.
"James Spader is a fantastic guy," said Bouril. "He's really nice. He is
such a good actor. He is very talented and funny, and has a very dry, dry
wit. He expects you to be able to do your job, and it was fun working with
Obviously, Bouril is having the time of his life.
>> read more
Boston Legal: Til We Meat Again
Season 1, Episode 14
Airdate: February 13, 2005
1st segment clip (4:26)
wm stream; 298 bitrate / no downloads
Boston Illegal Radio
Listen to a discussion of the episode
[52 min; 18 mb; 48k bitrate]
"Til We Meat Again" mp3
with streaming mp3 or
subscribe via Odeo
Memorable scenes >> go
Share your thoughts
February 13, 2005:
Boston Legal defeated NBC's "Crossing Jordan" by 1.4 million viewers (13.6
million vs. 12.2 million) and by 34% among Adults 18-49 with 5.1/12 vs.
[Source: Nielsen Media Research (Fast Affiliate Ratings]
August 30, 2005:
Households: 1.5 adults 18-49 rating, finishing third in timeslot the past
four eps. It's down 17 percent from a 1.8 for the Aug. 9 ep, 1.65 average
rating for four weeks and not even half the 4.9 the show averaged during the
James Spader Meeting Place "Til We Meat Again"
Beyond The Script
Conspiracy to commit aggravated assault: a Red Sox Tale
"...From out in left field, he landed his southpaw on my chest - again.
"Then do it." This was a whole new ball game..."
>> read more
"I'm sick of
"Are you sick of me?"
Watch 'I'm Sick of It'
Three scenes from 'Til We Meat Again
(5:49) wm stream; 340 bitrate / no downloads.
Til We Meat Again 'directors commentary': If you missed seeing episode 10
"Hired Guns", you may not understand the "You really, really smell good"
line in "Meat". It's code between Alan and Tara.
Watch the "You smell good" clip. Consider it homework.
Full transcript of episode
[Thanks to "Imamess" at