Episode Credits |
Dialogue | Did You Know... ? |
Reviews | News & Ratings
The Black Widow / Season 2, Episode 1
Broadcast: September 27, 2005
Guest star: Rupert Everett (Malcolm Holmes), Heather Locklear (Kelly
Alan Shore and Brad Chase represent Kelly Nolan (Heather Locklear), a
splashy, exotic murder defendant dubbed by the media "The Black Widow," on
trial for poisoning her much older husband. Denny Crane lusts after Mrs.
Nolan and begs Shore to let him lend a hand in any way possible.
Denise Bauer enlists junior associates Garrett Wells and Sara Holt to
assist her on a case involving a Jewish man who feels his civil rights
were violated when his Christian co-workers held Bible readings in the
workplace. To complicate matters, Denise's husband serves her with divorce
papers in front of them.
Meanwhile, Shirley Schmidt and Tara Wilson (Rhona Mitra) defend a
respected surgeon accused of sexually assaulting a mute woman, who
ultimately testifies by very unconventional means. Shore is taken aback
when he finds out that opposing counsel on the case is Tara's former
lover, Malcolm Holmes (Rupert Everett).
Directed by .... Oz Scott
Written by .... David E. Kelley
Edited by ... Craig Bench
Marty Belafsky .... Joshua Abrams
Jason Brooks .... Justin Murray
Shawn Christian .... Tim Bauer
Ellen Crawford .... Frances Stadler
James Eckhouse .... Dr. Adam Carter
Rupert Everett .... Malcolm Holmes
Anthony Heald .... Judge Harvey Cooper
Gregory Itzin .... A.D.A. Todd Milken
Leslie Jordan .... Bernard Ferrion
Jennifer Kuhn .... Mary Bradley
Heather Locklear .... Kelly Nolan
Fred Myers .... Willis Berger
Randy Oglesby .... Walter Edmunds
Ron Ostrow .... Atty. Everett Cone
Julie Pop .... Laurie Berger
Richard Portnow .... Judge Peter Harding
Deirdre M. Smith .... Jury Foreperson
Christina Souza .... Ellen Webster
Betty White .... Catherine Piper
Alan: Denny, we look good, right?
Denny: We look great.
Brad: *all in one breath* Hello, Willis. I'm not FBI, you got that? You
never heard me say FBI. Did any blogging today? Get away from the
computer. Step away from the computer, son.
Alan: Good God, it doesn't muss.
Plaintiff: It's more like I was forced out. The office took on such a
Christian tone, I felt ostracized as a Jew. Alienated.
Denise Bauer: And minorities enjoy civil rights that the majority doesn't?
Denise Bauer: So you quit the marriage!
Frances Stadler: Having lived in the same house with her for seven years,
I know she's a cold, detached b- person. She's capable.
Alan: You seem to have a finely-tuned sense of delivery.
Alan: Let me tell you. The housekeeper has considerable dramatic flair.
Alan: We'll bring a motion in limine. It's hearsay
Kelly Nolan: My last lawyer tried that.
Alan: Well, we try again. Frances Stadler cannot get in that witness
Do you have a statement for the press?
Denny Crane. She loves me. She loves me not.
Judge Harvey Cooper: I must admit I'm new to the Commonwealth of
Mass-eh-CHEW-sits, but I like to stick to my schedules.
Alan: Of course, Why bother with justice when there's a day planner
Malcolm Holmes: As it happens, I speak cello.
Denise Bauer: I will decide whether to object or not!
Garrett Wells: You weren't listening. I saw your face. You weren't even
Denise Bauer: My husband and I were over a long time ago, but this filing
- I just don't like to fail at things.
Bernard Ferrion: It's like she's emotionally flatlined. She speaks with no
affect. Its an associative disorder. She emotionally lobotomizes herself.
Alan: He seems to take particular delight in all this, does he not,
Catherine: We all do. It's fun to see pretty people fall.
Alan: Your little boyfriend is twisted. Trust me when I tell you, he's not
Malcolm: One kiss. Hmm? Let's get it over with.
Tara: I'll see you in court, Malcolm.
Alan: Judge, not withstanding your tightly corsetted mind, no defendant
can get a fair trial with less than a week to prepare.
Malcolm Holmes: It was dark and suddenly, You had a very strange feeling.
You turned around. You looked around - and suddenly a man was coming. And
he grabbed you. You were terrified. He molested you. He fondled your
breasts. It was awful. You will never get over it. Ever.
Denny: That one. She's perfect. Oh, my God.
Alan: What's going on?
Brad: Problem. You've got a website, Kelly.
Kelly Nolan: I think I know who took these. Willis Berger. At times I
thought he was stalking me.
Did You Know... ?
Production credits ran through three segments and finally ended 13 minutes
into the episode with the final credit being 'Directed by Oz Scott'.
Monica Potter [Lori Colson] was relegated to 'special guest appearance' in
the credits, but, no doubt due to editing to insert the new cast
storyline, her wordless appearance consisted of standing behind Brad's
chair and looking at Kelly Nolan porn over his shoulder, wide-eyed as
usual. She then obediently departed [foreshadowing?] along with the
conspiracy of lawyers also doing 'research' on The Black Widow.
Mark Valley and Heather Locklear. You might wonder if this is a sequence
from Boston Legals' "Black Widow" episode. You'd be wrong.
In one of those one degree of separation things, Mark and Heather went on
a date in "Spin City" in "A
Tale of Four Cities" (April 30, 2002). "To spite Charlie for
downplaying an encounter with an ex, Caitlin accompanies one of New York's
ten sexiest men, Joseph Maxwell (Mark Valley), on a business date to make
Guest star Jason Brooks [Justin Murray] worked with Mark Valley for many
years in the soap opera "Days of our Lives". Their characters were rivals
for the affections of one woman. [I'm not quite sure if I just missed
noticing him in The Black Widow, but I think his storyline may have been
cut due to inserting the new cast storylines. His part is supposed to be
reprised in Schadenfreude.]
Guest star Rupert Everett worked with Mark Valley in "The
Next Best Thing". Mark's character in The Next Best Thing was Rupert
Everett's 'doctor of the heart' - a cardiologist, actually, and Rupert's
Have you checked the pulse of this country
Imamess does a great job transcribing each episode. Sometimes it's
difficult to decipher all the dialogue. Thank you to Sue B. for going
way in depth with Garrett's "Have you checked the pulse of this country
lately?" God video presentation. Following are her identifications.
There are still a few unknowns. If you want to watch the clip in
question and can supply the remaining names, the clip is here:
Watch "Have you checked the pulse of this country, lately?" clip (3:46)
Sue - thank you for this from Garrett's presentation:
George Bush jr.: We are guided by a power larger than ourselves.
???1: Jesus Christ the son of God.
Barak Obama: We worship an awesome God.
Martin Luther King, Jr: I just wanna do God’s will!
John Kerry: We are on God’s side.
George Bush jr.: When you turn your heart and your life…
Curt Schilling: I say a prayer, before I pitch.
George Bush jr.: … over to Christ.
Stephen Baldwin: God knows the truth.
George Bush jr.: When you accept Christ as a Savior. Garrett mouths the
Stephen Baldwin: … in a man’s heart.
George Bush jr.: It changes your heart.
Jimmy Carter: What does the Lord require of thee?
Ronald Regan: My friends together we can do this.
Jimmy Carter: And to walk…
Ronald Regan: Do what we must.
Jimmy Carter: Humbly.
Ronald Regan: So help me God.
Jimmy Carter: … with thy God.
Bill Clinton: I did not have sexual relations with that woman.
Al Sharpton: One nation under God.
???2: One nation under God.
Al Sharpton: One standard under God.
Ronald Regan: One people under God.
Al Sharpton: For the children of God.
Jesse Jackson, Jr: The Lord is my life!
George Bush jr.: I have, ah, accepted Christ.
John F. Kennedy: God.
Reverend Run DMC: Praise to my Lord and Savior.
Joan Rivers: God.
Stephen Baldwin: Jesus Christ and Christ Jesus.
Jimmy Carter: With God.
John Kerry: God.
Jimmy Carter: Through Christ.
???4: God bless
Jimmy Carter: Christ
Joe Lieberman: God
Ronald Regan: Jesus
Barak Obama: God
Toby Keith: God
George Herbert Walker Bush: God
Bill Clinton: I did not have sex…
Some notes from Sue B's day of research:
- King was speaking in Memphis, Tennesee, on April 3, 1968, the night
before he was assassinated.
- Schilling helped the Boston Red Sox win the World Series in 2004,
pitching heroically with an injured ankle despite blood seeping through
his sock. After the World Series, he became a different sort of pitchman
- speaking in support of George W. Bush's re-election campaign.
- Stephen Baldwin is the youngest of the acting Baldwin brothers. He
made these comments on MSNBC's "Scarborough Country", on Dec 2, 2004.
- Jimmy Carter quoted this passage from the Bible during his
inauguration speech in 1977.
- JFK's one-word snippet is from his inaugration speech in 1961, during
which he mentioned "God" three times. One of the mentions: "And yet the
same revolutionary beliefs for which our forebears fought are still at
issue around the globe—the belief that the rights of man come not from
the generosity of the state, but from the hand of God."
- Joe Lieberman ran for the democratic party in the 2004 election.
Ironically (considering the topic of Garrett's tirade was "our Christian
nation"), he's Jewish.
- Barak Obama was the keynote speaker at the 2004 Democratic National
Convention. He mentioned God three times in his speech, including the
line: "We worship an awesome God in the Blue States".
- Toby Keith won the 2004 Academy of Country Music's "Entertainer of the
Year" award and said "Thank God for blessing us".
- In another storyline with Malcolm (Rupert Everett), the character
mentions the "Big Dig". It is a notorious construction project (tunnel)
in Boston, recently completed. That's what Malcolm was referring to.
Back In Black...And Yellow, Too |
2.01 'The Black Widow' written by
Welcome back, Boston Legal!
Before I get into the meat of this review, I want to start out by
extending my gratitude to one of the kindest and most dedicated fans of
Boston Legal I could have ever hope to meet - Dana. Thank you so much for
putting together everything you do over at
boston-legal.org and thank you
for tracking me down and giving me a place to post my reviews of Boston
Legal, including my old reviews of S1 and these new ones for S2. I feel
lucky to be a part of this and am glad that someone has been reading. ;)
Also, some more housekeeping before moving on to the review of the S2
premiere, 'The Black Widow'; I've already touched on this with Dana in the
for this episode (download it at
boston-legal.org), but in case you haven't listened to that, a big
congratulations out to James Spader for winning his Emmy for Lead Actor in
a Drama Series for his role as Alan Shore on Boston Legal and to William
Shatner for winning his for Supporting Actor in a Drama Series for his
role as Denny Crane. That's a repeat win for both of them; James Spader
won last year for the same role on The Practice and William Shatner won
for Guest Actor in a Drama Series, also on The Practice. Maybe this kind
of recognition will help boost the ratings...I can only hope.
((OK. Sorry about that. Here we go! Forgive me if this review is a bit
rough around the edges; I've been out of practice for a while. So bear
with me; thanks for reading!))
They opened up this episode with a crash course on the history of the
show, covering most major (and some minor - was Bernie's story really
important enough?) storylines from S1 to set up this season. A nice
refresher course for those who did watch the show on Sundays last season,
and an introduction to the show for those who did not.
Enter Alan Shore and Denny Crane. The place - the streets of Boston. The
garb - top of the line suits, and suave shades to boot. The reaction -
hilarity. These two men have some of the funniest chemistry the television
(legal) drama has ever seen, with Alan's straightforward, unapologetic
smugness blended with Denny's over-the-top antics. These men were made to
walk the streets together; they were made to look damn good doing it, too.
I would like to point out, that, while in many cases they appear to be
very similar, especially in this scene, there is one key difference that
must be noted. Fashion flair. Alan goes traditional, with the classic
black tie; Denny makes a much bolder statement sporting the yellow tie. In
doing so, he prevents me from ripping off an AC/DC song for the title of
this review, so for that I thank him. And because it pretty much made my
night to see them together like that.
There appears to be tumultuous changes underway at the Boston office of
Crane, Poole, and Schmidt; but no one besides the audience seems to notice
or care. I suppose the newly introduced (or rather, unintroduced, simply
thrown into the mix) legal trinity of Denise Bauer, Garrett Wells, and
Sara Holt has been around the whole time, working behind the scenes of
those who used to be our main characters at the firm. Denise reminds me of
Lori, with an important twist - more emotion. More drive; more passion.
Whatever that X Factor is that brings success, Denise has it in abundance.
She is the type of person who has cried, sweat, and bled to get to where
she is and won't compromise anything without a fight. It makes her plucky,
determined, and hopefully, fun to watch on screen.
That is, of course, unless she is continually hounded (some may say
courted...right now, I prefer words with meanings closer to pestered) by
Garrett Wells, an overeager junior associate at the firm. His advances
seem juvenile at best and inappropriate at worst, but his dedication is
sincere even if some of his motivation isn't what it should be and some of
his effort is misplaced. Despite not being as high up in the Crane,
Poole, and Schmidt pecking order as Denise, he has the confidence to
pursue her, if not one-hundred percent openly, knowing full well that the
consequences for his career (or his heart, if he really is attached) could
be devastating. Maybe he is something of a legal prodigy, as his 'Have you
checked the pulse of this country, lately?' presentation suggests; he is
certainly showing more potential than the statue Sara was in this episode.
Right now, I have no prejudices or views of her, because, to be honest,
she hasn't said or done anything. All we know is she has a friendship with
Garrett (probably drawn from their equal rank; the old strength in numbers
concept) and exercises far more restraint than he does.
Other than Denise's obvious barricades to Garrett's attempts at wooing
her, there remains one little obstacle to impede Mr. Wells - Denise's
(soon to be ex-) husband, Tim Bauer. Whether he was being honest, and he
did want to serve her the divorce papers personally because he felt it was
the right thing to do, or she was right, and he was only doing it to get a
good look at her when he caught her off guard with them remains to be
seen, but I doubt the writers would alienate their newest character so
quickly by making her at fault in this failed marriage. However, history
shows that they're both keen at making unlikable characters instantly
likable (Alan Shore...) and capable of the exact opposite (Sally Heep...).
Is Denise a female Alan? No. She may follow in his sort of balance
between fault and virtue, merit and flaw. Or she could be the next Sally
only with blonde hair.
Meanwhile, Alan, Denny and Brad handled the case of Kelly Nolan - The
Black Widow. Painted in the press as the woman who poisoned her husband
who had experienced many more years and fired her previous attorney when
she realized her representation was not going to get her the innocent
verdict. Whether she really is innocent remains to be seen; Brad hasn't
committed one way or the other, Denny is simply salivating over her (think
of how he talks to Shirley, and then apply it not only to his words but
his actions. He oozes sexual harassment, not unlike Alan.), and Alan, by
the end, accepts her statement that she is innocent. Whether this is
a trust she deserves or one he'll get burnt for (Paul Stewart or Bernard
Ferrion, anyone?) remains to be seen, but it is encouraging to see someone
as jaded as Alan looking up for once. In spite of it all, he still does
look for good things in this world, even when there doesn't really appear
as if there is a good reason to. As always, he is more than meets the eye.
On the other side of the firm were Shirley and Tara, handling the case of
a respected surgeon accused of sexual assault. By a mute woman. (Who
doesn't know sign language?) The case was really just convenient plotting
to introduce a new character from Tara's past - a man named Malcolm
Holmes, with the refined diction that comes with a nifty accent and the
ability to quip with the best of them, including Shirley and Tara herself.
For now, Tara has resisted his advances and remains loyal to Alan. For
now. Alan has caught drift of her working against Malcolm in court, and,
while the fact that Tara kept it from him can be seen as her trying to
protect him from worry, the fact that she withheld it is going to lead to
mistrust in an already fragile relationship. What effect Malcolm has could
realign the firm by tossing the Alan/Tara dynamic into turmoil...right
now, the ball is in Tara's court.
By the end of the night, I was satisfied; the socially, politically, and
culturally relevant writing David E. Kelley has always brought is as
finely tuned as ever; the characters are wild and unpredictable, but still
exactly the same as they always have been; I laughed, and I got sucked
into the drama. That's everything I expect from this show. So thank you,
and welcome back.
And now, the premiere Good, Bad, and Ugly of S2 -
-It was great to see everyone back; I always love premieres of shows I
love because it usually means it has been far too long since I saw the
cast. That definitely applies here.
-Denise looks the most promising of the new cast additions; I was a fan of
her on Ed and also her recent stint on Lost, so I know she is a capable
actress (good at both comedy and drama, which is a perfect fit for Boston
Legal) and her character seems like she will mesh well.
-The show was opened and closed with two instant classic Alan/Denny
scenes. That just seems as if it is the way it should be.
-I am also an instant fan of Brad's 'FBI' ploy; he used his skills as a
quick talker, took a page out of Alan's book, and got the job done. In a
hilarious manner, I might add.
-Heather Locklear was great in her role as Kelly Nolan. I think she was
perfectly described as almost unnaturally unemotional, especially
considering her circumstances. What is going on under the surface that she
isn't showing anything at all? The fact that she isn't showing grief
doesn't mean that she is guilty, but it certainly does not reinforce her
innocence. I'm curious as to what Alan sees that makes him believe her the
way he does.
-I am wary of cast changes, especially the demotions - Rhona Mitra and
Monica Potter have both been demoted to 'Special Appearance By'. That
leaves only Alan, Denny, and Brad from the main cast from the pilot, 'Head
-Garrett's little crush on Denise irks me. What is with these people
and office romance? When will they get it?
-We may not have seen them, but the photos Willis Berger was posting to
the web of Kelly Nolan...
-Also worth putting here is the pro-Christian workplace; despite Garrett's
work to justify it in this 'Christian America', it seemed quite 'ugly' to
me. So that lands it here.
So, thanks for reading! I plan on being more prompt in the future.
Written by: Abney | Send feedback and comments to Abney at
[Listen to Abney and Dana's conversation about
The Black Widow - mp3 download]
It is being reported that BL may go on hiatus after the October 25 episode
airs, returning in January. This is pending the outcome of the
[Source: Boston Legal Yahoo Group]
September 27, 2005 "The Black Widow"
Households: 8.6/14, #4; adults 18-49: 3.4, #T8.
In year-to-year comparisons, "Boston Legal" was up 32.31% in households
but only 3.03% in adults 18-49 from the season premiere of "NYPD Blue"
(households: 6.5/11; adults 18-49: 3.3 on 9/21/04) last year. Overall,
"Boston" was down just 4.44% in households and a surprising 32.00% in
adults 18-49 from its Sunday opener last year (households: 9.0/15; adults
18-49: 5.0 on 10/3/04).
ABC programming for the night: households: 8.2/13, #1; adults 18-49: 3.5,
#4), despite being first in overall viewership the Alphabet fell to fourth
place among adults 18-49
[Source: Nielsen Media Research]
Top 20 Network Primetime Series
# 20 BOSTON LEGAL
Total Household Rating/Share: 8.4/13.0
Boston Legal: The Black Widow
Season 2, Episode 1
Airdate: September 27, 2005
Watch segment clip (5:35)
wm stream; 340 bitrate / no downloads
Watch "Have you checked the pulse of this country, lately?" clip (3:46)
"Sometimes you have to take chances in life, in law, in love"
wm stream; 340 bitrate / no downloads
Watch "I'm not the FBI" clip (3:46)
Brad "Shore" Chase technically skirts misrepresentation in order to shut
down a website defaming his client.
wm stream; 340 bitrate / no downloads
Boston Legal: The Black Widow Preview
Airdate: Sept. 27, 2005
Season Two Premiere: "Black Widow" promo (:30) 520 bitrate]
Boston Illegal Radio
Listen to a discussion of the episode
[87 min; 30 mb; 48k bitrate]
"The Black Widow" mp3
with streaming mp3 or
subscribe via Odeo
Read the episode, transcribed by Imamess
Share your thoughts
September 27, 2005:
Households: 8.6/14, #4; adults 18-49: 3.4, #T8. See more in "News" at end of